While I’m spending time on a more in-depth and profound post, I thought I’d share some entertaining thoughts in the meantime. I mean, after 18 years, I’ve heard (and thought) it all. Recently, I read a post about diabetes being a dark comedy and I think that’s true. We have so many jokes and odd language and frequently find things funny that most people don’t because of our thick-skin. I’m especially bad about that because I’m also thick-skinned from being a cops reporter. Either way, enjoy the humorous anecdotes below.
Ten things you should know about diabetics:
1. Yes, it hurts. It’s a needle going into my flesh. What do you think it feels like?
2. No, it won’t go away.
3. No, I do not need a Coke to fix my high blood sugar or insulin to fix my low.
4. It doesn’t matter what my blood pressure is.
5. I did not eat too much sugar to get diabetes.
6. No, you can’t catch it.
7. I do NOT have the same thing your 400-pound cousin has.
8. No, that is not a pager on my hip.
9. No one still calls it “The Sugar.” Well, except maybe your 97-year-old great-grandmother
10. Yes, I am diabetic and yes, I can eat that.
You know you’re a diabetic when:
You tell your boyfriend you’re high in the middle of the frozen food aisle and get a funny look from the woman standing next to you.
You walk into a party and your friend says, “I bought sugar-free mixers and carb-friendly snacks.”
You join friends for dinner and the first thing their 5-year-old says is, “The rolls are 14 carbs.”
You try on clothes to see if your pump is hidable, not to see if they fit.
Co-workers hit you up for food because you have the best snack drawer in the office.
You purposefully say things like “I have to shoot up now” in order to get an odd look from the table next to yours.
You buy purses based on their ability to carry all your meds and snacks.
You can’t balance your checkbook, but you can divide anything by 15. (Thanks carb-ratios).
You become slightly annoyed when you see someone eating a banana by itself.
Everytime you go to the Cheesecake Factory, you happen to be “low.”
You know who Wilford Brimley is and he drives you nuts.
Do you have any other oddities from living with diabetes? Anything I forgot or left off? If you’ve ever been to diabetes camp, you know you have some more stories that begin, “One time at diabetes camp…” So please share your own anecdotes as well.