I read a lot of blogs. I read blogs about crafts, cooking, Auburn … you name it, I likely read a blog about it. But mostly, I read blogs about diabetes. I have so many friends in the DOC, and I refuse to skip over their blogs. Sure, it’s taxing to keep up with all of them, and I am
usually always behind in my reading, but eventually, they all get read. While catching up last night, I read a post from Leighann over at D-Mom Blog. While I check in on Leighann regularly, I don’t always read every blog simply because I’m not a parent of a child with diabetes. I’m not sure why I stopped on a post about Nick Jonas, but I did. I’m certainly not a Jonas Brothers fan (my boy band of choice was… ok fine… is New Kids on the Block). I guess I stopped on the post because anytime diabetes is in mainstream media, I pay attention. Nick seems to be an exceptional young man who has done immeasurable things for diabetes advocacy. (I don’t know much about the Jonas Brothers, but I know there are three, Nick has type 1 diabetes and none of them have been in the media for being hooligans).
Within the particular post I read was a link to an earlier post about Nick. Leighann featured a video of Nick’s song, “Who I Am” and I decided to watch it. When he flipped his sign over that read “diabetic,” tears immediately formed in my eyes. I’m certain I choked up for a reason much different than Leighann. Here was this kid — this teenage idol/heartthrob — singing about someone loving him for who he is, diabetes and all.
Well, if that isn’t my life in a sentence, nothing is. I have many fears in life, and I’ve noticed many of them change with my age. But one fear that seems to have been around a while and doesn’t seem to be going anywhere is the fear of being alone. I have a wonderful life with amazing friends and an incredible family, but sometimes, despite the positives, being alone is hard. When I consider the burden that is diabetes, I become overwhelmed with emotion. I become fearful and sometimes jaded. If I’m not careful, my mind will wander to a place where I convince myself diabetes is a burden no one has an interest in sharing.
I know it’s dumb and somewhat absurd, but it’s my fear, and somewhere along the way, I managed to justify it. I see my friends with diabetes who have wonderful spouses and significant others, and it makes me happy. I find encouragement and hope in those relationships, but it doesn’t take my fear away. In the song, Nick sings, “I want somebody to love me for who I am.” What a simple, elementary sentence with such tremendous meaning. So with a single black and white card and a chorus verse, a Jonas brother made me cry.