There’s a song by the now-retired David Crowder*Band called “How He Loves Us.” The lyrics, as you might imagine, talk about how much God loves us and the lengths He will go to for that love. In my life, this is an ongoing realization. The beginning of the song captures how my heart feels:
“He is jealous for me. Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree, bending beneath the wind and weight of His mercy. When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory. And I realize just how beautiful You are and how great Your affections are for me.”
My entire life, I’ve known God loves me. I know He died for me, and then He defeated the grave so that we might have a life beyond the earthly realm. But somewhere along the way, I lost my love for Him. Now that I’ve rekindled that love again, I’m reminded almost daily of His love for me. It’s a love that is so hard for me to imagine and comprehend. After all the things I’ve done, the things I’ve said and the things I’ve thought, He is still there. Still loving me. And always unconditionally.
I tried running, and I tried pushing Him away, but it didn’t work. I didn’t think He could forgive me for my past mistakes, but He did. And now, after finally realizing what true forgiveness is, I am in awe. His protection over my life has been nothing short of miraculous. His providence for me, His mercy, His grace — all things I struggle with understanding and sometimes, even accepting. As the song I mentioned above says, “if His grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.” I’m surrounded by it, and I don’t deserve any of it.
He has taken care of me in recent months in ways I have trouble sharing without tears forming. My heart of stone toward people has changed into a heart of love and tenderness. Scars have been healed and enemies have become friends. My worries about certain things, like my future, have disappeared. And my guilt and my continued shortcomings, I leave them with Him because He asked me to. Like the song says, “I don’t have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way He loves us.” He genuinely wants my pain, my tears and my hurt. He wants to take them from me and mold them into something beautiful. And that’s exactly what He’s doing.
To see God forgive and then to redeem me in His sight is enough to knock the wind out of me. I know I am incapable of a love like that, so it’s difficult to fully comprehend His love for me — His love for us. I see now that He is simply completing me. He’s reopening chapters so that I can close the book. He’s completing a journey started long ago, and He’s doing it in the most unexpected and awesome way.
In Philippians, Paul says He will be faithful to complete the good work He started in us. And in Romans, Paul says all things will work together for the good of those who love Him. I am seeing both of those in my own life right now. I stand in awe of what is happening and the healing He is bringing. Healing I didn’t even know I needed. Healing I can share with others so that they might understand His love for them. It’s such an amazing journey, and I am so thankful for His love. I can’t wait to see what my future holds. I’m anxious to see how He uses me for His glory and to share His love.
So today, I praise His name, thankful for the sacrifice of His life in exchange for mine. Wow, what a love.