This moment

My grandmother lived her life for the moment she would meet her Heavenly Father. Her life was lived for His kingdom and she was ready for this day — even if I wasn’t. So much of me can be wrapped up in this woman. I am just like my mother, and she is exactly like her mother. For years I fought that idea, but with time I’ve realized it’s a beautiful and blessed thing to mirror these women. And today… today is what my grandmother prayed her whole life for — to arrive in His kingdom with His arms open wide. The single thought of that moment gives me such overwhelming peace.

I cry only selfish tears because I want my grandmother to be sitting next to me. I want to be 15 years old again, but to recognize the beauty of what I had at the time. I want to go back to the Christmases spent at her house and the summer vacations spent playing beneath her weeping willow. I want to watch one more Braves season with her and eat her gravy one more time. I want to see her smile and hear her laugh. I want to eat one more piece of chocolate and enjoy one more cup of coffee with her.

But those are selfish feelings because this is the moment she hoped for — a moment promised in Scripture. I keep thinking about Matthew 6. Verses 19-21 remind us of His promise beyond this life. Because He died a sinner’s death, we might have life ever-lasting. Our treasures are not here; they are with Him in heaven. The day before I left for California, she was in the hospital and my family gathered around her. As I prayed over whether to still go to California, verses 25-34 from that same chapter were part of my morning study. It was in that moment I knew I had to go. I had to finish what I started because that’s exactly what my grandmother taught me to do.

She taught me how to be strong, how to be a fighter. She reminded me diabetes would only hold me back if I allowed it to do so. She encouraged me and always supported me. She taught me how to love and how to forgive. She taught me about the Bible and baseball. She taught me how to show Christ’s love through serving others. She’s the reason I see the good in people and why I always hope for the best. She helped me see the beauty in all things. She invested in me, and I adored her.

She was one of my very favorite people in this world. She was my grandmother and my friend. She was absolutely beautiful. And today, she made it home where her body and mind are healthy again. Today — this moment — is the one she lived her whole life for. May I continue to grow into what she always believed I could be.