Keeping everybody/thing happy

I’m naturally a passive person. I don’t like confrontation, I’m laid back and I’m usually happiest when everyone around me is happy. It seems this mentality has spilled over into my diabetes management, too. I take care of myself for personal reasons of course, but there’s a large part of me that desires to make everybody/thing related to my diabetes management happy as well.

When I have a great A1c, I love sharing it with my dad. We have a contest to see whose is better each visit. I love hearing positive comments from my doctors and nurses. I like positive reinforcement and seeing the hard work pay off. I enjoy thinking I make my doctor’s life easier by being a good patient. I like knowing my parents are proud of me when I have good control — because they were amazing type 1 parents (And the Lord knows I wasn’t always laid back.)

I think I feel the same about my diabetes devices. It seems crazy, but when I see a graph on Ben (my CGM) that’s perfect, I smile thinking poor Ben didn’t have to work too hard that day. I didn’t make him yell or raise his voice at all. He was able to set the cruise control and have a relaxed day without any yellow or red warnings. I find a certain calm and accomplishment knowing everything is working in harmony, including my insides.

It’s not lost on me how this diabetes cohesiveness is rooted within control issues though. When I have things under control, the stress level is minimal and my world is a happier place. I used to wait for the other shoe to drop — for the bad to fall in and squash all the good around me. But I’ve learned it’s OK to be happy, to have good control, to have a great A1c. It’s a good thing to bring a smile to my doctor’s face or being encouraged by a pat on the back or to hear a “great job” shout-out.

Good control isn’t a constant though. Sometimes, we can do everything right, follow all the rules and still end up with a high or a low. We can be as “textbook” as humanly possible and still have scattered numbers. Burnout happens. It’s real. So is depression. If you have a good day, enjoy it. Don’t wait for the bad day to follow. If you have six hours of a no-hitter, celebrate the six instead of waiting for the full 24. Embrace the good and quit anticipating the bad.

Here’s my diabetes wish for you this holiday season — that you not feel guilty for eating that second piece of pecan pie. That you enjoy the good numbers and not worry too much about the bad. That you celebrate the little victories without anticipating the pitfalls. May your CGMs and pumps be happy and helpful to you this Christmas! (Which is less than a week away!!!)