I have a friend who’s been my go-to for questions about the personal side of training. Basically, that means I call her a lot and ask, “Is this normal?” When I asked her about crying, she said, “oh if you’re not crying at least three times a week, you’re not doing it right.” Well then, I must be doing it right.
I’m a gamut of emotions these days. Part of it is exhaustion, and I know that. My last two weeks leading up to Saturday’s Promise Gala have been overwhelming. Early mornings and late nights in the office have added up to a lot of missed workouts and super crappy nutrition. Without daily workouts, my insulin basal rates don’t need to be as low, and I didn’t factor this in when having more rest days than expected. That resulted in a few days of higher blood sugars. All of these stresses finally boiled over by way of an emotional meltdown Tuesday night.
And we’re not going to talk about the tears from crappy workouts or the tears from high and low blood sugars. There are too many of those to count.
I knew this would be hard when I signed up for it, but I had no idea just how tough it would truly be. I am so grateful for parents who send me daily encouragement, friends who send me random goat memes via text, co-workers who are beyond amazing and a coach who is patient and understanding and gives me room to be human. That’s a big lesson I’ve learned so far… I have limits, and not only do I need to recognize them; I also need to learn how to be OK with them.
Life will slow down next week, and then we’re back on track for May 22. Nutrition is going to improve, my schedule will even out again and I can get a full night’s sleep (and maybe cut back on the caffeine consumption.) Right now, I’m only looking toward the end of May. As much as I enjoy being active, I can’t imagine ever doing this again. Ever.
In our call this week, my coach referenced this being my “first” 70.3 race. (Ha. Somebody’s got jokes.)
For now, I’m going to get through this amazing Promise Gala (our biggest one to date!) Then, I’m going to enjoy every minute of running 13.1 miles with my biggest hero, my big brother, on April 30. Somewhere in the midst of all that excitement, I’m going to enjoy my first 70.3 triathlon. And then, we’ll decide where this journey of type 1 diabetes and endurance sports takes me next.