Martina McBride recorded a song years ago called “This one’s for the Girls.” I used to love that song, and I’d sing it because I fit into one of the lines perfectly: “This is for all you girls about twenty five, In little apartments just tryin’ to get by, Livin’ on on dreams and spaghetti-o’s, Wonderin’ where your life is gonna go.”

I was working my dream job as a journalist for a newspaper, living in a tiny apartment and eating Spaghetti-O’s. And I was a dreamer, big time.

I hadn’t heard that song in years, but last week, it came on the radio. Halfway through the song, she sang: “This is for all you girls about forty two, Tossin’ pennies into the fountain of youth, Every laugh line on your face, Made you who you are today.”

It was in that moment I realized I related more to that verse now, and it made me incredibly sad. Tears formed instantly, and I just sat in my car and cried for a few minutes.

As I celebrated another trip around the sun this weekend, I tried to remember the fun parts of getting older.

I have deep, meaningful relationships in my life, and those come with age. The superficial nature of relationships are mostly gone. I’m comfortable in my own skin (mostly), and I am far more self-aware than I was as a younger adult. I identify with my strengths and I can call out my weaknesses. I listen to truth, and I can distinguish lies.

I know what I want in life, and I’m making changes to get those things.

Appreciating a quiet patio at your favorite neighborhood restaurant over a crowded downtown bar.

Knowing the difference between a PBR and a craft-brewed beer.

Learning how to say no.

Learning when to say yes.

Appreciating an early bed time because of how good sleep makes you feel.

Knowing the value of three best friends over 20 acquaintances.

Being content with sitting on a front porch for hours without an agenda.

A few new scars and more than a few new wrinkles.

There’s a photo hanging on my fridge of me at the beach. It’s from a trip with girlfriends back when we were about 21. I have it hanging there because, quite honestly, I like the way I look in that photo. It reminds me of what I could look like today if I made a few changes in my lifestyle. But then again, I was 21 in this particular photo, so maybe not. 😉

I look at that photo and then I look in the mirror and the difference is visible. My face has some age spots and there are some crow’s feet edging their way around my eyes. You can’t see my dimples at the moment because when I add weight, they disappear. In the beach photograph, I have abs. And I bet I probably even had a thigh gap back then… even though that wasn’t a thing yet. We didn’t even have social media yet. (Thank, God!)

This weekend, I stared at myself in the mirror for a good while, thinking back on all the scars and the wrinkles and the lines that have formed across my body over the past couple of decades. There are physical changes for certain, and most of those are not my favorite changes. But then I started thinking about the changes we can’t see in a mirror, changes that make us better.