This year has been one for the record books. Part of this year’s difficulty has been public as my family has asked many of you for prayers throughout my sister-in-law’s accident, extended hospital stay and continued journey to healing. But there have been countless internal and personal struggles in this year.

As the end of this year draws closer to its end, I find myself reflecting on what has happened in the past 12 months. And often, I find myself sitting in a puddle of tears. I look back at the hard parts of this year, and it’s hard to see any kind of goodness, especially the goodness of God.

I think that’s been my biggest struggle this year… seeing His hand of goodness through the trials and the heartbreaks. But he’s been there, through everything. And I know we’re not promised a life of ease or comfort, but when you’re in those hard places, the world feels dark and the walls close in. There were rows of days when I cried myself to sleep. There have been numerous prayers of confusion, and I have repeatedly doubted what I’m hearing from Him. That’s hard, too.