This has been a trying season for me, to say the least. Some of it, I’ve shared with y’all through my blogs. Much of it, I’ve kept to myself or shared with close friends. It’s been a season of patience and waiting. A season of recognizing God’s sovereignty and surrendering to His will and not my own. A season of relying solely on Him and shedding the desires of self. It’s been a sweet season of relying on Him, but it’s been really tough, too. Hard, even. Going through the valley isn’t always easy, but it’s always worth it. Truth is, I haven’t handled this season all that well. As it has progressed, I’ve become more and more reclusive. I’ve drawn inward and kept people at bay.
As winter approaches more swiftly than usual, I realized I was in trouble. All I’ve wanted lately is to be alone; to enjoy my sadness and despair without sharing. I’ve realized the more time I spend alone, the more I coil. And when I coil, it’s much easier to strike at those who come close. That’s not how I want to live my life, and it’s certainly the opposite of how we are called to live. So I’m shedding that layer of my skin.
I’m happiest when I’m helping others so I’m getting back to what brings me joy. I have several projects I’m involved with and a new board I’m pleased to be a found member of. With those responsibilities, I am helping others. I’m helping create a model for my community that has the potential to help thousands in Madison County as well as across the state. I’m in charge of helping grow a group of first graders and eighth graders at my church. I have the pleasure to show them Christ and help them realize what it means to follow Him. I have the opportunity to complete a pet project at work that has incredible potential. I’m excited about the ways God is allowing me to serve others, and it’s time I focus on others instead of myself.
I’ve always thrived in a busy environment, having multiple tasks to complete and responsibilities requiring much time, passion and commitment. For the coming weeks, you won’t see much action around these pages. I’ll pop in from time-to-time, but I’m taking a break to work on myself; to take care of myself. And I’m doing that by serving Him. As hard as this year has been, I’ve been blessed a thousand times over, and I need to spend some of my time sharing those blessings with others.
Throughout my training for Death Valley, I’ve leaned on 2 Corinthians 4:7 to remind me my abilities come from Him. The next two verses remind us of His presence in our lives: “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.”
Amen to that. Amen to Him always being there, and amen to Him holding us, carrying us and sharing our burden.