Seasons of life

Yesterday, I did something painstakingly difficult. I stepped away from Hot Shots, a local advocacy and outreach group in Huntsville for families affected by type 1 diabetes. For a couple of years now, Hot Shots has been a tremendous part of my life. The relationships I’ve built through the organization have been amazing, and they’ve been a God-send. I met two of my best friends in Huntsville through Hot Shots.

While diabetes advocacy and awareness will always be a passion for me, I’m being called to a different area of ministry. It’s not something I can share just yet, but I am excited about how God is using my testimony as a way to reach others. I am still blown away at His ability to get the glory from every single thing in my life — the wonderful parts I’m proud of and the ugly parts I’m ashamed of. His hand is so clearly at work in my life, and I’m loving it.

A friend and I were talking last night about how sometimes God speaks to us, but we don’t pay attention. In both of our lives, we notice when the same passage of scripture or the same message pops into our lives repeatedly. We realized it seems to take us both hearing His word three of four times to realize, “oh yeah, you’re talking to me.” Thank goodness He’s persistent. This move was one of those moments. I felt Him leading me to something new, but I resisted.

Leaving Hot Shots hurts. Perhaps, it hurt the most after sending the email to the rest of the committee. I think it became real in that moment. These families have changed my life, and done so completely for the better. In Philippians, Paul tells the Philippi he thanks God upon every remembrance of them. That’s how I feel about the families within Hot Shots. I am in a different season than most of the families we serve, but I’ve learned so much about myself, about growing as a leader, about being part of a team and about the mother I want to become one day. For those things, I will be eternally grateful.

But more than that, these families have given me such a tremendous and overwhelming amount of hope and pride in myself. Not self-fulfilling pride, but pride in myself enough to value my body and what it is. Pride to take care of myself and my diabetes so I can stay healthy and pride to embrace diabetes and not hide behind it, or even conceal it. To know me three years ago, and to know me now, it’s as if I’m a different person. (Actually, I am.) And so much of that can be contributed to the families of Hot Shots. And the hope these families give me for the future is unbelievable. These kids will change the world, and curing diabetes will be one of their shining moments. I have faith, and I have hope.

So I leave with a bittersweet goodbye. I know what God has in store for me and my ministry is going to be amazing. I don’t know all the details, but He’s shown me a glimpse of my future and while it’s scary, it’s exciting too. And I don’t have any fear about what’s to come because I know I’m following someone who not only leads me down the road; He built the road.

I hope God has used me to make a small impact on the lives I’ve been part of through Hot Shots. I hope I shared the right stories, and I hope I gave encouragement and showed a spirit of You Can Do This. I don’t need to know I’ve made a difference, I just need to know I showed His light. It’s one of the most commonly-quoted scriptures, but when it comes to living with diabetes, it’s true. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13

It’s true. We are weak, sinful and fallen people. We can try and try on our own, but we will fail. Only with Him can we succeed and find peace and perfection in love. If one thing is for sure, I know Hot Shots will continue to excel and grow because of the passion of the people who do all the heavy lifting. (Hi Sarah.) So if you remember nothing else, remember that you are loved and that with Christ, you can do anything! And that most certainly includes living with, managing and sharing diabetes.