Progress is hard. And it feels even harder when I am weak. Three days a week, I force myself to go to the gym. It’s a group class, and I am (by far, from what I’ve seen) the weakest link in the gym. I carry the least amount of weight. I’m the last one to complete exercises. My workouts are usually tailored and scaled-back. Combine that with not knowing anyone at the gym, and I feel defeated before I walk in the door. Feeling defeated is all mental, of course, and not necessarily a reality. Everyone is kind and encouraging and the anxiety I feel walking in is completely based on my expectations and mental walls. I know that.
But each day I say I’m going to go, I go. It’s a one-day-at-a-time effort, and it’s hard to put one foot in front of the other to walk through the door. But I do it. And oh my gosh, do I feel it the next day. Sore is an understatement. Every workout feels harder than the one before it, and each workout brings a new sore muscle (usually ones I didn’t even know I’d worked.)
But I do it because I want to see progress. I want to see growth, and change, and strength. I want to be part of a community that is consistent, encouraging and aligned with my own health and wellness goals. And honestly, I want to be the poster child for the owners.
Caleb and Katie are fantastic. I emailed Caleb before I ever joined, and I liked him from the start. He was patient and answered every question I had. His wife, Katie, was the first person I met at the gym. She was kind and welcoming and made me feel at ease. (I wish she was there for every workout.) These two have something special in this place, and I can tell already, it’s going to change my life. Caleb cares about the people in his gym, and he makes an effort to validate them and make them feel like they belong. Katie is genuine and kind, always with an encouraging word.
For now, it’s hard. It’s hard physically, and it’s difficult mentally. Every time I walk toward the door, I almost turn around and walk back to my car. The fear I have in being part of this gym is palpable. My brain tells me I don’t belong, and I don’t fit in, and I certainly don’t have a clue what I’m doing. But my heart reminds me I want to see change, and I am tired of the same. So three days a week, I make myself go. On the other side of this, I don’t want any regrets, only progress. And progress is hard, but worth it.
Goals:
- Lose my inter-tube waist
- See definition (especially in my quads)
- Increase my weights
- Lose weight and tone muscle
- Gain confidence in the gym
- Gain confidence in my body and the strength it holds