Thumbs are vital, in case you were wondering.

Turns out, thumbs are incredibly important and valuable to the rest of the hand. I know it seems hard to believe, but trust me, it’s true. As I impatiently wait for my April 4 doctor’s appointment to repair my PIP joint (and by repair, I mean get a steroid shot that will last three months), I have been learning just how vital a thumb can be for various activities. Case in point:

• Thumbs are useful for holding pens, pencils and highlighters. They are also useful for writing with these tools — or at least writing legibly.
• Thumbs are vital to opening doors that involve doorknobs. Luckily, my office’s main door is a swivel door. And yes, I resist the urge to go around multiple times on a daily basis.
• Thumbs are vital for opening and closing a curling iron, but not necessarily vital to putting your hair up wet with a lot of bobby pins and calling it the “messy” look.
• Thumbs are necessary for fastening a bra. And unfastening. Especially if you’re not married and live with two dogs.
• Thumbs are useful when you check your blood sugar but only a tiny drop of blood comes out so you must squeeze until enough comes out to avoid the “Error 5” message. (Editor’s realization: Maybe I should just change my lancet.)
• Thumbs are vital to being a text messaging ninja. Especially on an iPhone. While driving.
• Thumbs are necessary for putting on panty hose. And tights. And socks. While driving.
• Thumbs are not vital, but helpful, when walking dogs who think they can walk themselves.
• Thumbs are helpful when pulling hot pans out of the oven.
• Thumbs are necessary for hitchhiking.

Kidding mom, I didn’t actually text while driving.