The birds and the bees

I learned a new lesson about the birds and the bees on a ride this week I must share, though it’s probably not what you might think…

I set out on a short ride with the intention of increasing my base speed and cycling more efficiently. As I turned onto a local country road, a few flying creatures smacked my face. In the heat of Alabama, this is not an uncommon thing. I swatted and turned my head when one flew directly into my face, but a couple of minutes later, something smacked the front of my helmet with fuller force than the fly/gnat things I usually see consume on rides. I shook my head and continued. I kept thinking I saw movement out of the corner of my eye, but I ride with a mirror on my sunglasses so I dismissed it as a mere reflection. 

Another moment later, I moved my line of vision to the edge of my helmet and saw a bee making its way from the top of my helmet to the underside, a mere inch or so from my forehead and eye. While I can’t be certain, I’m pretty sure I let out a girlified shriek before wobbling at the wheel and pulling off the road. I yanked my helmet and sunglasses off and began flailing my arms as if I were on fire. Once I was certain the bee was gone, I put my helmet back on and hit the road again. For the next mile or so, however, I kept seeing something move out of the corner of my eye. Of course, it was nothing short of my imagination.

Less than a mile later, I was on a road bordered by heavy woods. As I coasted down a hill, a bird came out of nowhere and flew across the road in front of me. I swear, this thing was inches from my bike. (OK, probably not, but it sure seemed like it at the time.) Again, I think there was a shriek and an “ohmygoshiamgoingtodie” thrown in for good measure. I never saw him coming, and I still can’t believe I managed to stay on my bike. I didn’t have time to brake, but as I saw him, I pulled back with my body and arms causing my bike to wobble terribly. At this point, I considered stopping to catch my breath. Between the birds and the bees, I was a little jumpy. I was trying to improve my speed so I kept going. (And no, I didn’t improve it; I matched it.)

This isn’t the first time wild animals have attacked me on a ride. I once saw a snake, and although he was dead, I still pedaled faster and swerved wide. A deer crossed about 20 yards ahead of me one day, and the stench of freshly-smashed possum is a regular scene. One time, I’m certain I heard hissing from a mass of bushes as I made a turn. And we all remember the near-fatal would-be coyote attack in Death Valley. (See above photo for proof. Also for exaggeration.) And do not get me started on the squirrels around here. They. Are. Fearless. They’ll dart out in front of you for anything resembling an acorn. I still can’t believe I haven’t nailed one yet. But I guess there’s still plenty of time for that.

What about you? What wildlife do your riding adventures include? 

I’m training for a September century in Nashville as part of the JDRF Ride to Cure Diabetes circuit. You can learn more about the event and support me here. Or just click that pretty blue box on the right. Thanks!