If you’re a regular reader, you know I ride consistently. And if you follow me on social media, you definitely see how often I hit the road because I love sharing cycling. But the truth is, I’m struggling. I don’t know if it’s Nashville and its hills. Or if it’s a lack of physical confidence which turns into a lack of emotional confidence. I don’t know what it is, but I’m struggling to do anything significant on my bike.
This time of the year, I’m usually up to 40 or 50 miles on weekends, but I can’t seem to trudge past 30 these days, and I am exhausted at the end. I have no cardio strength at all, and it’s truly embarrassing how heavy I breathe going up the smallest of hills. On social rides, people are always asking if I’m OK. I am dying here, and it is killing my confidence.
The only thing I feel like I have under control is diabetes on the bike. With exception of a sporadic bad day, I think I’ve finally figured out how to manage stable numbers on the bike. Most days, at least.
Lake Tahoe is less than three months away, and I have so much work to do. For the first time in a long time, I have legitimate doubt. And that scares me.
I’m heading back to Endeavor Performance to work on strength this week. I’m going to add cardio into workouts and hope to see a change sooner as opposed to later. I’m at a loss. Until this year, riding has been reasonably routine and natural. I build on miles as the Spring and Summer progress. I add in climbs and prepare for whatever JDRF course awaits me. But this year is different. And I am struggling in a bad way.
I’d love to ask for your prayers as I continue to train. Cycling is such a wonderful part of my life, and it’s one of my very favorite things to do. That hasn’t changed. But I need some additional strength and inner-motivation to work toward my goals. Physical self-discipline has never been my strong suit so if you’d pray that over me in the coming weeks, I’d be most grateful.
It seems strange to ask for such a seemingly insignificant prayer request when so much else is happening around us, but this is important to me. When I struggle with physical and emotional confidence on the bike, it carries over into my daily life as well. This is a beautiful season of change for me in moving to Nashville, but it’s had its challenges and this is one of them. Thanks for allowing me to blog honestly, and thanks for supporting me.
Never commented before but had to about this. I hit the exact same sort of plateau when I was a purple belt (two steps down from black belt). No matter how hard I worked, my sparring matches were always the same. Same techniques got me taken down, same blocks were always a second too slow, same criticisms of my katas from the sensei. I was doing class six days a week and practicing on my own 1-2 hours a day, and still, it was all the same. No progress. I wasn’t tempted to give up training, because I loved it, but I was tempted to give up trying to advance in rank. What got me through it was twofold: 1) I changed my goals. I had to make my goal not “be a black belt” but “go to class 5 times a week and practice at home every morning.” (Goals of process, not product.) As long as I did that, I was successful. That let me give myself permission to quit feeling bad about myself with regard to karate. 2) I just didn’t give up. I was a purple belt for four testing cycles. Then I was a red belt. And then a black belt. I made it slower than I wanted, but I made it. Kid, you CAN do this. You’ve done harder things. Really. I suggest setting some process goals, dropping the product goals JUST FOR NOW, and re-visiting, say, in October. You’ll be surprised how far you’ve come if you get off your own back. I will pray for you!
Victoria, I have every confidence in you. One extra request is not too much to ask. Also: have you thought about taking a day off? Maybe an extra day’s rest (or a day of easy, flat riding) would give you some renewed energy. Just a thought.
This post reminds me of some of my own physical struggles as we started our big cycling trip. I used to HATE hills. As in, loathe. And the bulk of the struggle was mental for me. As we started our journey, I was terrified of the looming challenge of the Blue Ridge Parkway (lucky for me at the time, I didn’t realize until much later that the ANDES are HUGE and that’s what I should have been scared of!). All that to say, we talked to a long-time cyclist we stayed with in Virginia, and as I confessed my fear of the mountains ahead, he off-handedly said, “You’ll grow into the hills.” And you know, he was right. That’s exactly what I did. But it took some time and even more patience. Patience with myself as I rode up them, patience to realize it was not a race to the top. Now I never worry about a hill. I just slow down and pump the pedals, and eventually, I know I’ll make it over. And eventually, your body grows accustomed and your mind makes the adjustment. So much of the challenge is mental! But you’ll grow into it as you continue to acclimate to your new (awesome!) city. And your ride in Tahoe sounds AWESOME. Jealous 🙂
I think anything over, oh, 2 miles is pretty darn awesome. You’re awesome.
Okay, deep breaths… You’re going to be great in Tahoe. Plenty of time. No stress.
Feeling better? No? Okay, more deep breathing…
While I’m not sure how much time you’ve spent recovering, it’s possible that–after a whole month in the saddle–you might be slightly over-trained. Give your body a good week of rest, and restock those muscle glycogen stores with some delicious snacks. I bet you’ll be feeling better come next weekend. You’ve got the fitness; you probably just need some freshness.