I read a lot of blogs. I read blogs about crafts, cooking, Auburn … you name it, I likely read a blog about it. But mostly, I read blogs about diabetes. I have so many friends in the DOC, and I refuse to skip over their blogs. Sure, it’s taxing to keep up with all of them, and I am usually always behind in my reading, but eventually, they all get read. While catching up last night, I read a post from Leighann over at D-Mom Blog. While I check in on Leighann regularly, I don’t always read every blog simply because I’m not a parent of a child with diabetes. I’m not sure why I stopped on a post about Nick Jonas, but I did. I’m certainly not a Jonas Brothers fan (my boy band of choice was… ok fine… is New Kids on the Block). I guess I stopped on the post because anytime diabetes is in mainstream media, I pay attention. Nick seems to be an exceptional young man who has done immeasurable things for diabetes advocacy. (I don’t know much about the Jonas Brothers, but I know there are three, Nick has type 1 diabetes and none of them have been in the media for being hooligans).
Within the particular post I read was a link to an earlier post about Nick. Leighann featured a video of Nick’s song, “Who I Am” and I decided to watch it. When he flipped his sign over that read “diabetic,” tears immediately formed in my eyes. I’m certain I choked up for a reason much different than Leighann. Here was this kid — this teenage idol/heartthrob — singing about someone loving him for who he is, diabetes and all.
Well, if that isn’t my life in a sentence, nothing is. I have many fears in life, and I’ve noticed many of them change with my age. But one fear that seems to have been around a while and doesn’t seem to be going anywhere is the fear of being alone. I have a wonderful life with amazing friends and an incredible family, but sometimes, despite the positives, being alone is hard. When I consider the burden that is diabetes, I become overwhelmed with emotion. I become fearful and sometimes jaded. If I’m not careful, my mind will wander to a place where I convince myself diabetes is a burden no one has an interest in sharing.
I know it’s dumb and somewhat absurd, but it’s my fear, and somewhere along the way, I managed to justify it. I see my friends with diabetes who have wonderful spouses and significant others, and it makes me happy. I find encouragement and hope in those relationships, but it doesn’t take my fear away. In the song, Nick sings, “I want somebody to love me for who I am.” What a simple, elementary sentence with such tremendous meaning. So with a single black and white card and a chorus verse, a Jonas brother made me cry.
Nick Jonas and the Administration – Who I Am
Nicholas | Myspace Music Videos
Victoria my dearest friend,
You are a wonderful person…..
Pure, unadulterated distilled southern sweetness.
Having established those facts on the public record, I must admit to living the same “fears”.
Not the fear of complications, many of which I have faced, not the fear of living with a chronic illness for years to come but the overbearing fear of doing all of that alone.
Thank you for your post, whoever “that” lucky someone is, he will love you for the open, honest and caring person you are and not because or despite anything else.
You are beautifully and wonderfully made, exactly as you are, in all your imperfections and character traits
I still cry EVERY time I see this video!
It hits me on so many levels.
Powerful post Victoria.
I think worry about being alone is there for all of us – married, involved, or not. But there are amazing friends, partners, spouses out there that do love us for who we are. Diabetes and all.
Be patient young grasshopper. God has big plans for you and your love life. 🙂
That was a powerful song…honestly, I wasn’t expecting it out of the Jonas Brothers 🙂
I agree though, I think when friends start getting married (having babies…) its the thought that starts creeping into our minds anyway…add complicated life issues and its a real thought, what if someone won’t ever stick around for the good AND the bad?
You are not alone, Victoria. We love you. And like Scott said, that sense of being alone hits all us in various ways and it’s a straight-to-the-heart sensation. That person is out there. You’re an incredible wordsmith and awesome person who simply rocks… and all of that is what you’ll find someone seeing in you. Diabetes will just be a part of the fun adventures.
wow thank you for sharing this video! I loved it. I know the HOlidays can make people feel a certain way, but we in the DOC are always here for you!
Nick Jonas has made me cry more than once. If you get a chance, listen to the song “A Little Bit Longer”. He wrote it about being diagnosed. And now he’s made me cry again. I had never seen the video for this song (despite the fact that it’s on my MP3 player). Yup, I’m a Jonas fan. Go ahead & tease I don’t care. 🙂
You’re not going to be alone. Some very smart man is going to come along one day soon & sweep you off your feet. You’re gorgeous, intelligent, witty, and fun to be around. A faulty pancreas is nothing compared to that.
And yes, I’m aware of the hypocrisy of that statement when I’m plagued by the same fear. Does the fact that we all feel that way mean we really aren’t? I sure hope so.